JOKES – 10 aprílových ftípků :)

Je 1. duben, APRÍL, v angličtině Fool’s Day aneb Den bláznů. Jak vznikl název tohoto „svátku“?

FOOL(čti fůl) znamená:

1. blázen, hlupák, šašek, osel, trouba anebo pošetilec (podstatné jméno),
2. napálit, oklamat, žertovat, dělat si legraci či podvést (sloveso),
3. pitomý, omezený (přídavné jméno).

Říká se, že mentalitu Angličanů, Irů, Skotů či Američanů nejlépe odhalíme skrze vtipy, které o národu a jeho zvycích prozradí nejvíc.

O Britech se traduje, že mají suchý humor. Myslím si, že se od českého humoru moc neliší. :D

Pojďme na to!

• Joke number one:

„Forget the past, you can’t change it.“

„Forget the present, I didn’t get you one.“

present – slovíčko present má dva významy. 1. dárek, 2. přítomnost

•  Joke number two:

„Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?“

„Because he had no body (nobody) to go with.“

skeleton – kostlivec

• Joke number three:

When we were in London we saw them changing the guards.”

“Were they dirty?”

guard – chránič, the guards – stráž

• Joke number four:

„Why was six afraid of seven?“

„Because 789“ Because seven ate nine.

ate – jedl (minulý čas nepravidelného slovesa jíst „eat“)

• Joke number five:

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings which were on display at that time. „I have good news and bad news,“ the owner replied. „Okay. Let´s hear it,“ responded the artist. „Well, the good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.“ „That´s wonderful,“ the artist exclaimed. „What´s the bad news?“ „The guy said he was your doctor.“

gallery owner – majitel galerie, interest – zájem, paintings – obrazy, on display – vystaveny, wonder – zjišťovat, artist – umělec, value – handnota, death – smrt

• Joke number six:

„What is the longest word in the English language?

SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!“

the longest – nejdelší, word – slovo, mile – míle

• Joke number seven:

An Englishman, a Scott, and an Irishman walked into a pub. Each ordered a pint of beer.

Then a fly landed in each one’s beer. The Englishman, turning slightly green, pushed his beer away and asked for another one.

The Scott took the fly out, shrugged, and drank his beer.

The Irishman pinched the fly between his fingers and yelled

“ Spit it out! „Spit it out! Spit it out!

darn – zatraceně, zatracený, fly – moucha, pinch – štípnout, přiskřípnout, pub – hospoda, shrug – pokrčit rameny, spit out – vyplivnout

• Joke number eight:

„Doc, what shall I do? My husband talks in his sleep every night…“

„Just give him the opportunity to talk during the day!“

doc – doctor hovorově, opportunity – šance, příležitost

• Joke number nine:

Waiter: „Would you like your coffe black?“

„What other colour do you have?“

waiter – číšník, diner – strávník, host

• Joke number ten:

Three women are having lunch, discussing their husbands. The first says, „My husband is cheating on me, I just know it. I found a pair of stockings in his jacket pocket, and they weren´t mine!“

The second says, „My husband is cheating on me, I just know it. I found a condom in his wallet, so I poked it full of holes with my sewing needle!

The third woman fainted.

cheat on – podvádět, stockings – punčochy, wallet – peněženka, poke – šťourat, rýpat, sewing needle – jehla na šití, faint – omdlít

I hope you enjoyed it. Doufám, že jste si to užili a že vás nikdo dnes nenachytal. :)

Bye for now! Zatím ahoj!

Adél

P. S. Těším se na vaše vtipy a historky!

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P. S. S. Pokud uvažuješ o odjezdu do Anglie, ale máš strašáky v hlavě,

mám pro tebe k dispozici e-book ZDARMA Jak odstrojit 13 strašáků, kteří ti brání odjet do Anglie